She's not the saint you think she is.

>I'm ready to leave this internet shop but there's something that keeps haunting me. I guess, I better type this crap out.

I get so emotional whenever I hit this topic. I don't even know where will I get the courage to reveal this thing. So before my little "pagkawalang-hiya" (harsh thing to say about myself) leaves me, I should be moving.
Enough of introductions.

As few people knew I'm in the poverty line. (Oo, alam ko lahat tayo. 'Wag na nga lang magreact.) It's just that, I couldn't bear the thought of being so poor. We don't own a television set, even our refrigerator is out of order. Don't ever ask if we own a couch because we don't. Halos lahat yata ng gamit sa tinitirhan namin sira na kulang na lang pati 'yung tao.Arg. Tapos 'yung course ko pa ang saya..broadcasting. I told mom that we really need the T.V. simply because I'm lost in those news and issues occuring around me. And then she said that same thing to my dad. I know he really wants to buy that freaking thing but the fact that we still don't have enough money is a big hinder. Mom's still persuading dad and dramatically the lights went out. Hindi naman po kami na putulan, brown out lang. Though the lights were out I still heard my mom's voice. Dad's really crestfallen and it hurts me so much. Bakit ko pa kasi sinabi 'yun? Then after the T.V. thing my mom also highlighted that they need the refrigerator because it's really a necessity if you're having an eatery. She further told dad that we still lack chairs, utensils,and that istante stuff. Dad simply nodded and asked mom with his ever sweet voice, "Dangat, saan naman tayo kukuha ng panggastos dyan?" And then my sister entered the picture. She's shedding tears while listening to our parent's conversation. anep tagos yun! I tried my best not to cry, though that minute my heart is already numb from the pain.

Ang sakit sa pakiramdam 'yung tipong gusto mong magreklamo pero ayaw mong marinig ka nilang ginagawa mo yun. Hindi sa kadihilanang papagalitan la nila kundi dahi sa masasaktan sila. Minsan nga sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na at least natutulungan ko si Mother Earth.haha. Nakakatipid pa ako ng kuryente. Pero kadalasan naiisip kong, buti pa 'yun nakatira sa ilalim ng highways at sa slum area may maga t.v. at ref..haha.

Minsan tinanong ako ng bago kong kamag-aral kung music lover daw ba ako. Gusto kong sumagot ng oo pero baka mag-inquire pa sya kung anung mga music ang pinakikinggan ko. Baka magtanong pa sya kun nanonood ako ng MYX at MTV. Hayu, sumagot ako ng hindi. Nagtanong pa rin sya. Sinagot ko lang sya ng ngiti, buti tumigil naman.

Lahat yata ng latest ngayon wala akong alam. Buti na lang nandiyan pa yung mga magigiting at maunawain kong kaibigan. Hindi namn nila ako tinuturing na ignorante kahit papano. Sila na lang 'yung tanging update sa lahat ng bagay sa mundong 'to. Kung wala sila. Hindi ko rin magagawang makapag blog.

hayy..sooo many ups and downs..amp..

still thankful im hir and still have the oppurtunity to change my status in life.haha.

someday..yeah..

mxdong mdrama..ewan..