WANTED:Lawyers

Nkakainis na., Nagloloko ngayon ang blog ko. Badtrip.

Hay, o, tulungan nyo akong mag-isip kung paano mo malalaman na mahal ka nung tao. Eeee. Kasi naman. Ewan ko ba.

___O___

Case 1
"Ui, panu mo malalaman kung gusto ka nung tao"
"Pagtinanong mo tapos ang sagot nya hindi,hehe..bakit?"
"Kasi may gurl akong gusto ko, tapos sabi nya sa akin friend lang turing nya,no more, no less."
"Ah, o anung gusto mong gawin?"
"Ayoko ng magparamdam sa kanya ni magtext ayoko na...pero hindi ko kaya.."
"Eh di magreply ka lang kung nagtext sya, kung hindi eh di wag mong itext.."
"Nakakasuya ka talaga!!huhu.."-Mr. Soccer player


Case2
"May itatanong ako sayo.."
"Ano?"
"Pagbalik ko pwedeng tanungin ulit kita kung pwedeng mag-apply..?"
"Hindi.."
"Grabe ka, dalawang beses mo na yang sinabi, una nung Palaro tapos ngayon..grabe ka man.."
"Ha? Tanu man? Naghahapot ka kung pwede,ang sagot ko hindi.."
"Basta pagbalik ko..."
"Hindi pa rin sagot ko."
"Sobra ka naman."-former classmate and friend in elementary



Case 3
"May bf ka na?"
"Wala pa naman.."
"Suitors?"
"Wala din kasi hindi ako pumapayag.."
"Bakit?"
"Ayoko..basta.."
"May alam akong manliligaw sayo..."
"Ano? Pano mo naman nalaman?"
"Ako"
"Ika?"
"Si Mikel ni.."
"Hoy, Ultraman, dae mo ko parakarawan.."
"Si Mikel nga 'to..pwedeng manligaw?"
"Hindi."
"Nagtatanong pa nga lang ako, basted na agad.."
"Dae mo daw ko kayan Ultraman,humanda ka sako saaga.."
"Mikel nga 'to..crush ka namin kasi kaw yung pinakamaganda sa block natin.."
"Dae ka mapundo?"
"Basta kakausapin kita bukas..."
"Bahala ka man..basta dae."
"Grabe ka man,mahapot pa lang ngani." -blockmate and seatmate (in Science)



Case 4
"Musta lab lyp mo..?"
"Aus pa man, harayo lang."
"Tanu man, isay man yan?
"Basta, mayo kaya sya digdi."
"Ah, garu ka daw inda harayo palan.."
"Tanu man?"
"Kadakul kayang gwapo sa Adnu nagrarayo ka pa. Mabalik man yan?"
"Kung dae mo lang ko linibreng food! Eu, mabalik 'to...(sana)"
"Ta harayo?"
"Iyan, anu ka ba pare...basta."
"Bahala ka kayan, kadakul magayon sa ibang lupalop."
"Anu man!"
"Padangat ka man daa?"
"Uhmm..ahh..ehh..eu..garo.."
"Hilinga na yan..hanapn taka digdi."
"Mau man akong mahiling."
"Hinihiling mo man lang kaya, hanapun mo ngani."
"Habo ko man maghanap."
"Bahala ka pare, mapagmahal masyado ang mga lalaki."- friend na naambush kong ilibre ako

___O___

• It's hard to make up your mind weather to continue loving someone or not.
  
• It's so painful loving a person who can't love you back but it's fatal to love a person who's not sure on how he feels for you.
• You keep on repeating those three idiotic and pride-crushing words though all you take back is a simple smile.
  
• You regretfully laugh at yourself because you still do it everyday.
• You tend to be so sweet with him without thinking if he's not annoyed by what you do.
• You try to remain faithful to him when in fact you don't have to.
• You continuously trust that he'll be back though your scientific mind says he might not.
• You keep rolling in your bed whenever you have the feeling of getting in touch with him to resist the feeling.
• You do not regret that you had rejected three guys for him.
• You feel so jealous when he tells you about his date but you keep asking questions about it.
• You called him three times in a row without knowing what to say when he asked you why did you call.
• You keep on reminding yourself that you're beautiful though it's now irrelevant.freak.
• You want to hug him so tight but you are really shy to do it.
• You want him to always take the first move but you end up doing it.
• You can't explain the tingling feeling every time he texted you.
• You are very much aware that some of your grammars here are flying out of the windows but still continues to type things inside your head.
• You cry every time he forgot to say i love you.
  
• You think he's not in love with you.
• You're bothered if this thought is true.
• You want him to call you and tell you how much he loves you.
• You are aware he won't do this.
• You like it when he says he'll try to be back.
• You hate the word "try" in that statement.
• You're happy when he's happy.
• You want him to always smile.
• You want to be with him.
• You'll continue loving him.
  

ang hirap kaya.

Hindi ko na namanlayan na tumatakbo pala ang oras. Korni as it may sounds. Hehe. I'm missing someone, tapos hindi naman sya masyodong nagpaparamdam. Hindi na nga ako sigurado kung babalikan nya pa ba ako. It so hard. 'Yung tipong hindi mo alam kung ittext mo pa sya o hindi na kasi hindi rin naman sya bothered magreply. Tapos pagmagrereply...maya-maya mapuputol na naman. Nakaka aning kasi wala naman talagang kasiguruhan kung anong meron samin. At ang tangi ko lang namang pinanghahawakan eh, 'yung hope na babalik sya.Wat the?! Kung tutuisin nga nagpapaka loyal ako sa isang taong ewan ko kung sigurado sa nararamdaman nya. Hintay tuloy ang beauty ko sa mga bagay-bagay. Naghahanap ng kahit katiting na hint of assurance.

Hay, tapos marami na akong ni reject[lagi ko namang ginagawa] simula nung mafall ako sa kanya. Bubu!haha. Ayoko naman kasi talaga kasi nga loyal ako sa isang tao. Baliw!

humaba ang buhok ko ng magpagupit ako

So ironic yet somehow it's true.

Anyway the other night his in my dreams. I told him about this but to my great surprise and should I say disappointment, another girl also saw him in her dreams. I let him know a bit of it. Summarize na kung baga. Here's the whole story behind that dream,it goes like this...

His room, with two unknown girls:
I'm inside a room together with two girls whom I'm not familiar with. I think it's his room because a few minutes later he entered, declaring, "Bumalik na ako...bakit kayo nandito sa room ko?" Before any of us answered the setting had already changed.

Arupe Hall, with other blockmates:
I don't have any idea on how come that there is a long tiled bench in that hall, 'yung tulad sa Science. We were sitting there with my blockmates, waiting for the next subject. Actually he's lying at the bench; his head at my lap. Then, the students from the second floor went down, it only means we can now occupy our room. We're not yet reaching the second floor, when his hand held mine. He held it hesitantly. So, what I did is held his hand tightly but lovingly (yudee). When we reached the second floor and walked our way to the 213 room it seems that it was a never ending corridor. At hindi natapos 'yung paghoholding hands namin.



Naputol na lng nang ginising na ako ni sister. "Ate, 6:00am na,. Bumangon ka na dyan..."

ammp..

ginawa na naman akong palaman ng langit at lupa

The remaining time is 5 minutes.

My bill's 90 pesos.

I only carry a hundred bucks with me.

I need to have the hard copies of the communication models.

Twenty-five copies in its normal font size.

Thank heavens I'm resourceful; leaving me only 12 pages.

Font type: Arial Narrow [wala bang super narrow?]
Font size: 8 [makatao pa]


Kainis, hindi tuloy ako makapagkwento..ay, syanga pala..

Pinalaya na nung isang araw si Ces Oreña-Drilon.

hassle ang intro to comm theory ai..nep 'yan..ata mablog ako ngunian ning kung anu-ano..hmp..

Friday the 13th's a mess

Oh c'mon, many believe that this Friday the 13th is indeed a so-misfortune-filled-day. I used to believe otherwise but not today. I experienced the damned (it means very) unfortunate incidents.
Starting the day right is a mundane thing I prefer to do. But it's Friday the thirteenth and today's not the common day. I got up at the wrong side of the bed. My head aches and I have the idea that it will continue until the end of this day. I don't remember that it's Friday the thirteenth though I remember one thing today's the departing hour. Start the day right. It was left. I was left. The whole morning I keep myself busy by reading a book. I stop whenever I'm in the mood of texting him. No response. Eight chapters more. Texted him again, did not even respond. Four chapters to go, two, one...end of the tear dropping novel. Wala ako sa mood para iyakan 'yung nobela kahit kung iisipin makabagdamdamin ang kwento at isa pa-iyakin ako. No reply. No missed call.

Lintik!(yeah nakamuda..success) I'm being distracted by this couple who keeps on displaying their affection inside this computer shop. And their friend who's singing at the top of her voice the song I learn to grow a disliking to. Do they have any consideration? Oh, putcha(another accomplishment) sa harapan ko pa.


Anyway, back to my story.
The misfortunes are falling like heavy raindrops from the sky right after the clock hit four. Alright, I met with Naxcz at the university's batibot. We headed for the covered courts and ended up standing in the path walks.
I forgot to first dropped by at the gym to check out if the try outs or meeting is already starting. It's not;so what I did was to start walking my way to the football field. I arrived there and after a minute or two the freaking practice started. I do'nt have the time to count the number of rounds we did in that field but I bet we can reach SciHigh by the time we stopped. Hoping that I can still catch up with the meeting for those aspiring student-athletes in table tennis, I rushed myself to the gym. Doors close. You'll hear me cursing the freaking practice. hayy. I decided to just sit around and catch some air. I sat beside Tin-Tin on the same batibot I and Naxcz met earlier.
Then I decided to go home and left Tin-tin. While walking with Phoee I noticed something's missing. "Bulat ni mimols! Si Gtech kong ballpoint nahulog sa field! Sa lahat ba naman..ai naku.."Minutes after my paawang arrival, I bid my mom and dad good-bye. "Internet lang po ako, sandali lang." They just nodded for approval.

Dinudugo na ako mag-english tagalog naman.

Pumara na ako ng tricycle.."Sa likod po ng Robertson..." "Sa plaza lang beh" "Ah, Jollibee lang po lugod."
Humakbang na ako papuntang Kompyuteran at dahil sa swerte ako nagyon... "Kuya mainternet po?" "Ai, maung internet ngunian..." "Ah,sige po salamat.."
Pagdaan ko ng Texicodon ang daming tao..walang space..
Yes, may bakante..wala masyadong tao.. pagpasok ko ng hindi-ko-alam-kung-anung-pangalang- internet-shop, oops wala ngang masyadong tao..wala pati yung bantay..sagad! I walked out.
Geeks and Games next and last stop..kahit papano meron pang katiting na swerte.
Nagsimulang pumasok ang isang grupo ng mga (Atenista pala sila) walang paking tao. NagpPDA yung dalawa. Yung isa sagad sa kakamura nahawa tuloy ako. Yung isa usisero sa gingawa ko at yung isa kumakanta ng Only One.
Saklap.

Cognition in Communication 2

[]Nandun na kaya sya?
<>Anu naman sayo?
[]Naisip ko lang naman.
<>Hindi nga nagparamdam ngayon eh.
[]Busy siguro.
<>Nang nakupo?
[]Pagod na siguro.
<>Saan?
[]Sa byahe.
<>Hindi 24hours byahe papunta don.
[]Pagod lang yon.
<>Ulol
[]Hala mouthing bad word.
<>Sinong nagsabing bad word yun?
[]Mga matatanda.
<>Sa kanila ko narinig yan eh.
[]Kahit na.
<>Try mo, nakakawala ng stress.
[]

happy independence day..

June 12 is Victor's birthday. Don't ask me why I know this thing. Isn't it obvious? Matagal ko na kaya 'yung alam. Uhm. That's not the point. Haha. I "accidentally" forgot to greet him even though he told me that it's his birthday. "...my klase ka pa? Birthday ko baga.tsk". Well, my response is the not a kind of human's instinct, "Happy Birthday!" Nah, it wasn't like that. I just replied him with an inquiring, "Ah, eu?uhm.my klase pa ako.nstp.." He's not aware that I've been brainstorming all year round for the gift I would give him. Sadly, I end up with not even a single paper. So sad. hehe. Para tuloy wala akong utang na loob sa kanya. Tsk. Lang kwentang barkada..

Enough said.

Cognition in communication

[]Last day...tomorrow will be the departing hour.
<>Good byes hurt.
[]He'll come back.
<>He only said that to comfort you.
[]We'll go out everyday when he's back.
<>He's with another girl by then.
[]Surely, he'll miss me.
<>Don't even think.
[]Shut up.
<>Crap, stop dreaming, stupid.
[]He promised me.
<>All guys do that.
[]He keeps his word.
<>Sure of that?
[]Yeah.
<>Did you go out together?
[]When he's back.
<>He promised you that.
[]He's busy.
<>He'll be busier next time.
[]He'll gonna find time for us.
<>Convince yourself more.
[]He'll never turn his back to me.
<>How'd you know?
[]He told me.
<>Believe him?
[]Sure as hell, yes.
<>Convince yourself the next time.
[]I'm convinced.
<>As you've said, moron.

I play the game of flying solo.

It all started yesterday, I had that feeling of emptiness. Asylum. Solitary. I'm not in peace, though. The thoughts of being with him keeps on nagging me. It haunts me like a ghost. So, I texted him and told him straightly that I was waiting for him to join my wandering. He just told me that he's really sorry because he's still resting (just had a fever) and preparing things. It's an awful thing. Tears were conceived from my eyes. I tried to fight it back but it seems to be useless. I really want to see him. I want to talk to him before he leaves. I want him to know that he's a one of my treasured friends. I want to give him a hug. But these things will never be fulfilled. I think he's leaving tomorrow.Hay. Can't he just stay?hay.



Kagagaling ko pa lang ng bahay. Kumain ng isang hotcake, turon, at piniñahang manok at kanin. Pasunod-sunod ko 'yong pinagpyestahan na parang isang gutom na halimaw na takam na takam sa kanyang bitikma. Tinapos ang libro ni Bob Ong na MacArthur, naantig ang puso ko sa karumal-dumal at nakapanghihinayang na pagkamatay ni Mang Justo. Kaysaklap talaga ng buhay. Nag-isp ng mga ilang segundo. Isa...dalawa...tatlo... "Ma, punta po akong centro." Himalang hindi nagtanong si Mama. Pero sinabi ko namang maglalakad-lakad lang. Kumuha ako ng biente pesos sa loob ng kaha at umalis na. Binagtas ko ang kahabaan ng palengke. Tulalang nakatingin sa dulo ng bawat eskinitang pinasok ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nandun. Wala akong napala. Walang kakilalang nakita. Isinunod ko ang ngayong makitid ng Plaza dahil sa dami ng mga nagtitinda doon Hindi namn ako tumingin ng mga paninda nila. Nakiraan lang. Sa wakas nakaisip ako ng pupuntahan. E-mall. Malapit-lapit na rin naman ako ng makadaupang palad ko ang isang dating kamag-aral si Bryan. Konting kamustahan at humayo na rin kami sa aming sariling landas. Pagpasok ko ng loob ng balwarte ng mga estudyanteng walang magawa kundi magpalamig, hindi na rin ako nagtaka na medyo maraming tao. Maya-maya'y naisipan kong magparamdam sa malapit ko nang lumisang kaibigan. Walang sagot mula sa kanya. Kaunting pabalik-balik. Taas-baba, kaliwa-kanan. Pasok dito. Pasok doon. Naispan ko nang bumaba at pasukin ang isang tindahan ng mga libro. Naghanap ako ng libro ni Iles. Sabi kasi nyaong isa kong kaibigan maganda raw ang mga nobela nya. Walang duda. Ni isa wala sa tindahang pinasok at hinalughog ko. nagsawa na rin ako sa pagtingin ng mga damit sa Bench kaya ipinasya kong lumabas na. Ilang saglit pa, nasa loob na naman ako ng tindahan na nagtitinda raw ng ukay-ukay. Oo, ukay-ukay sa halagang limang daan, tatlong daan, at kahit isang libo meron. Alam kong wala akong mapapala 'dun. Ipinasya kong lumabas at maghanap ng panibagong ruta. Pinila ko dito sa loob ng Kompyuteran. Habang pagod sa pag-iisip ng mga walang kwentang bagay ang utak ko walang tigil rin ang mga daliri ko sa kapipindot ng mgamaliliit na kawadradong my nababasang letra ng alpabeto. Key board, pare.

Napagod din sa wakas.

She's not the saint you think she is.

>I'm ready to leave this internet shop but there's something that keeps haunting me. I guess, I better type this crap out.

I get so emotional whenever I hit this topic. I don't even know where will I get the courage to reveal this thing. So before my little "pagkawalang-hiya" (harsh thing to say about myself) leaves me, I should be moving.
Enough of introductions.

As few people knew I'm in the poverty line. (Oo, alam ko lahat tayo. 'Wag na nga lang magreact.) It's just that, I couldn't bear the thought of being so poor. We don't own a television set, even our refrigerator is out of order. Don't ever ask if we own a couch because we don't. Halos lahat yata ng gamit sa tinitirhan namin sira na kulang na lang pati 'yung tao.Arg. Tapos 'yung course ko pa ang saya..broadcasting. I told mom that we really need the T.V. simply because I'm lost in those news and issues occuring around me. And then she said that same thing to my dad. I know he really wants to buy that freaking thing but the fact that we still don't have enough money is a big hinder. Mom's still persuading dad and dramatically the lights went out. Hindi naman po kami na putulan, brown out lang. Though the lights were out I still heard my mom's voice. Dad's really crestfallen and it hurts me so much. Bakit ko pa kasi sinabi 'yun? Then after the T.V. thing my mom also highlighted that they need the refrigerator because it's really a necessity if you're having an eatery. She further told dad that we still lack chairs, utensils,and that istante stuff. Dad simply nodded and asked mom with his ever sweet voice, "Dangat, saan naman tayo kukuha ng panggastos dyan?" And then my sister entered the picture. She's shedding tears while listening to our parent's conversation. anep tagos yun! I tried my best not to cry, though that minute my heart is already numb from the pain.

Ang sakit sa pakiramdam 'yung tipong gusto mong magreklamo pero ayaw mong marinig ka nilang ginagawa mo yun. Hindi sa kadihilanang papagalitan la nila kundi dahi sa masasaktan sila. Minsan nga sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na at least natutulungan ko si Mother Earth.haha. Nakakatipid pa ako ng kuryente. Pero kadalasan naiisip kong, buti pa 'yun nakatira sa ilalim ng highways at sa slum area may maga t.v. at ref..haha.

Minsan tinanong ako ng bago kong kamag-aral kung music lover daw ba ako. Gusto kong sumagot ng oo pero baka mag-inquire pa sya kung anung mga music ang pinakikinggan ko. Baka magtanong pa sya kun nanonood ako ng MYX at MTV. Hayu, sumagot ako ng hindi. Nagtanong pa rin sya. Sinagot ko lang sya ng ngiti, buti tumigil naman.

Lahat yata ng latest ngayon wala akong alam. Buti na lang nandiyan pa yung mga magigiting at maunawain kong kaibigan. Hindi namn nila ako tinuturing na ignorante kahit papano. Sila na lang 'yung tanging update sa lahat ng bagay sa mundong 'to. Kung wala sila. Hindi ko rin magagawang makapag blog.

hayy..sooo many ups and downs..amp..

still thankful im hir and still have the oppurtunity to change my status in life.haha.

someday..yeah..

mxdong mdrama..ewan..

Am I so forward or it's just you who move backwards?

>revealing two of my sentiments<

Minsan talaga sadyang ayaw kayong pagtagpuin ng tadhana. O, 'di kaya ayaw nya talaga akong matagpuan sa sarili niyang tadhana? Lagi na lang kasi akong nabubuhay sa paniginip at sa pag-asang kaunti na lang at matatanggap niya rin ako. Pero hindi ganon 'yung mga pangyayari sa buhay ko. Nakakawala na rin minsan ng katinuan lalo na kung iisiping malayu-layo na rin ang tinatakbo ko, nagyon pa ba ako titigil? Kung iisipin namn kasi walang naghihintay na liwanag sa dulo ng lahat ng 'to. Siguro maraming nakaambang sakripisyo at ilang dagat ng luha pa ang maitangis ko; ngunit liwanag? Malabo. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko pa rin matanggap ang sumisigaw na katotohanang WALA TALAGA-WALA.

[walang patutunguhang baltazar]

He told me he likes me. He even said, "I love you."
He always makes me feel I'm special. He rushes to my aid when I'm in bad mood. He patiently listens to my never-ending stories. He accepts the fact that I do not go to church often. He never ignores my messages. He realizes all my fears. He keeps me smiling. And he's ready to leave his native land few days from now. He's leaving me with a sincere promise of coming back. "...kulang na kaya kita sa time..Babalikan taka na lang...pero bka pag nakabalik na ako-igwa ka naman kean.."
He told me he likes me. He even said, "I love you."

[feeling empty]

So this was the first day of college life...

The night before was terribly bad. I felt so miserable and I cannot understand why behave that way. Crap, I even forgot to turn on my alarm thing so I woke up this morning past 6. Though it doesn't matter because I'm only meters away from my current school. We call it Ateneo.
Oh, there and then I was dressed and ready to go.

Arriving inside the 2nd floor Room 213 of the other-planet Arupe Hall I was shocked because almost all my blockmates weren't there. I'm with Naxcz, who waited me at the gate of Ateneo but I entered at the other gate.hihi. We saw each other naman. (tnx ni nix) And, wait. Someone's called out my precious name, whoa, it's another blockmate, Jano. So the three of us "happily and excitedly" went to our so-near-yet-so-far building.

Our first subject was Salvation History. Well, our teacher seems to have a funny name,Toni Joe.haha. But the subject was not that funny. I mean, what am I doing inside a Salvation History class? Sigh. We were asked to tell him our expectations on this subject. Some said their hoping that it won't be boring but some said other wise( "I'm expecting it would be serious talk"). Another raised her voice este hand pala and said she's expecting to have fun while learning.
We're told that we need a textbook entitled "Hanep, Biblia!" by John Aranda Cabrido and since it's a Salvation History class one must have a Bible. Then I thought, "Meron ba nun sa bahay namin? Eh 'di ko nga alam kung nag-eexist pa 'yun sa pamilya ko. Patay." Don't get me wrong people, it's just that..ahm, wala talaga kami nun..

Just like Naxcz, Kate, and Jennifer, I too belong to the N2 of the Study and Thinking Skills class. Yeah, 'di na ako mag-Eenglish Plus..Beh! But before entering that class we first went to the Department of Media Studies because, thankfully they dis not included the room where we need to enter. Alright, the girl there told us it's in OB112. We went there and sat on those wooden chairs. They have those airconditioning units but not bothered to switch them on. After a while, I saw some familiar faces, Judd my co-candidate and friend and the Mayor (I think) of the City Youth Officials though I don't know his name. I glanced outside the door an saw another pleasant familiar face, it's Von our classmate, way back in high school (parang ang tagal na?). I motioned for him to come in and well he's happy to see both me and Naxcz. Then, there was our teacher, named Rose Virginie Libreja. Don't laugh. She's nice because she dismissed us early. One thing that serves as a consolation is that we are ahead of some of our blockmates and our classmates in that class were already in higher year level. O' di ba?

waah..tinatamad na akong magkwento..haha..

alright just a bit more..

• we went to NCSHS to get the school paper.
• went home.
• ate a hearty lunch. (mechado,boiled pork ribs, vegetable lumpia and more than 3 cups of rice...eat those things and you can have a body like mine..hehe.
• dressed again
• went to ATENEO
• no teacher entered on our firs subject: Intro. to Communication Theory
• Basic Algebra was next, our kind teacher gave us some assignments
• got our ID at the OSA and bought an ID cord..'di libre nang tulad sa Sci.High. 30 pesos pa 'yun..pang load ko pa 'yun. No choice.
• ended up inside an Internet Center...20 pesos per hour..nagsisipagmahalan na lahat ng bagay sa mundo!

Ahm, so as they say...the rest is history.

the track is waiting...

and the shot has been fired..

After the energy-sucking and spirit-waking OrSem at the Ateneo de Naga University, I kinda hope I'm now prepared for the race (Ateneans there call it as race). Friends are nowhere seen, except for dear Naxcz but the point, almost all of them are in other schools. I still feel so high school-like.

I was so eager to share my experience about the ORSEM but I do not know, why in Merlin's pants I cannot recall the things that had occurred.Praning na ako!

Mighta be because I've got something inside my mind.

I've got a boyfriend!!!(Naxcz with a sarcastic, "Ano?!")Whew, just kidding.

What the heck is happening to me?AH.

hayz. This would be all for now.

waaahh.may pasok na bukas..sagad!