Lost aketch.amp

Heck.

things to be done na pagkarami-rami.arg.

ayaw na muna.

i want to be loved!haha

nung konek?

crap.

nanood na nman ako ng korean love story na movie.hehe.

as usual, na touch na naman ako.hehe

at nainggit.

kelan ka yan na may magmamahal sa akin ng tunay.

at yung sya yung mauunang magmahal.

hay.

yung tipong kahit kayo na eh everyday ka pa ring liligawan.
yung lalaking hindi magsasawa sa mga kaartehan mo.
yung walang sawa sa pagsuyo sayo sa tuwing nagseselos ka.
yung kahit minsan eh di ka iiwan sa ere.
yung ipaglalaban ka ng patayan. haha. bloody.
yung kakulitan mo sa mga masassayang bagay.
yung lagi kang isinusurprise ng kung anu-ano.
yung handang ipagsigawan sa lahat ng tao na ikaw lang mahal niya.
yung mamahalin ka higit sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya. shet, makata. lol.
yung kahit busy, kahit iling minuto o oras ang hingin mo ibibigay nya sayo.


haha.damn me.walang ganyan.sa fairy tales lng yan.

asus.

waah.napapagod na akong lagi na lang ako.hay.hay.

bad ako.

sabi nga "to give and not to count the cost..."


*hanggang sa alam kong magmahal, masasaktan at masasaktan pa rin ako. :(
kahit sino pa man siya

Scared no more

Yey. Nag-usap na kami.

Whew. Di nya nman pala ako tuluyang iiwan. Haha. I'm sooo paranoid.

I understand his situation. Tama lang naman yung naging desisyon nya.
I dunno why but I'm really happy for him. For us. :)

Habang nag sasalita sya ng mga tungkol sa akin di ko maiwasang kiligin.weeh. cheezy.
Wala lang. I always find him attractive kahit ako na yung binibigyan nya ng compliments and all.
Shocks. I also find him fascinating. He never fails to amaze me everytime we talk. Wow. He gives scholarships to students. Ayos. Naunahan pa ako sa advocacy ko. *applause*

At dahil sa pag-uusap naming 'to lalo pa akong nabigyan ng glimpse of his true identity.weeeh.
Baduy man at parang masyadong maaga pa pero yun "...i'm falling even more in love with you..."wahaha..oops. bawal nga pala. Single muna pala sya. Hehe.
But there's nothing wrong in what I feel for him. It's just that, I should not expect anything in return.Right?

Hmm, on the other hand...medyo scary. Kasi ang dami na namang pumapasok sa utak kong "what if..."

Pero yan nga..be positive.
Should always remember that a dark tunnel always has a welcoming light at the end.
What would come, would come. And he would have to meet it when it did."

Yey. so optimistic again. i love myself. i love ben...as a friend.haha.

*still into him. :)

Preparing myself to be left (again).

Aw. Hay. I feel it. Crap.

I'm trying to forget all those good times. shit.
I'm trying to forget all those smiles.
I'm trying to forget all those stares.
I'm tring to forget all those long walks at night.
I'm trying to forget all those hugs and kisses.
I'm trying to forget all those endearments.

I'm starting to detach my self from him.

I'm reprogramming my thoughts about him.

I'm doing the ever-effective cognitive dissonance.

I feel it.

It's nearing its end.

I'm preparing myself to be left again.

Hoping that this time no precious drops will be shed.

Damn!

It will be a taste of hell again.

*sigh*

Nobody's strong enough to endure heartache.oh.

ang bilis naman.
hay. sana mali pa rin 'tong duda ko.
sana praning lang talaga ako mag-isip.
hay.
pero, anong pag-uusapan namin sa thursday?biglaan yung pagrequest nya ng talk.amp.
patay. i'm pretty scared.

My share of anxieties.

I wanna cry my heart out.

Alright. Tumutulo na ang luha. shet. ang drama.

Eh kasi naman...

Nagkataon na ako at si Sir I-dunno-the-name na lang ang naiwang naglalaro kanina tapos after nun ako na lang. Nadedepress lang ako kasi mag-isa lang akong uuwi. Mag-isang mag-aayos ng table. Mind you, bubuhatin yun. Rawr. Mag-isang mag-aayos ng place. Mag-isang lalabas ng Ateneo. Mag-isang magdidinner. Miserable!

The only solution I thought was to call the rescue of my ever beloved Ben. Well, hindi sya yung Superman ko ngayong gabi dahil hindi niya sinasagot yung tawag ko. 'Tian. 3 attempts ng pagtawag mula sa pay phone ng PLDT. Wala talaga. Hopeless. Idagdag pa yung katotohanang miss na miss ko na yung tao.

Anyway, buti dumating si Carlo. At tinulungan nya ko sa table. Pero after nun, iniwan niya rin naman ako. Hay buhay.

Back to Ben, yun nga di nya talaga sinagot. hay. Tapos pagdating ko ng bahay tinext ko sya. Well, kahit isang libong beses ko pala inattempt na tawagan sya ay di nya sasagutin
dahil di na karegister sa phone niya yung num at akala nya yung kuya nya ung tumatawag.

Kaya heto ako nagtatampo at di naman rinereplyan. Dada ng dada, wala naman pa lang kausap.Grrr.

Hay, at wala nga pala akong karapatang magtampo. Gaga kasi. Hoping. crap.

Waiii. Hindi ka ganun ka importante sa kanya. Wawa man.

At nagreply na xa..wala na raw syang masabi.hay.arg.

mahirap talagang sabihin ang "i miss you, too" kapag di mo naman talaga namimiss yung tao. hay.


what he feels for me is not that deep.
anytime the wind will blow...
it'll carry his feelings for me somewhere far...
far from me. :(

wah.bitter.

nu ba ako?!
i must trust him.

"45 things a girl wants, but wont ask for it"

*a repost

1. Hug her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.
KEEP READING
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. Fight back
and hug her tight so she can't
get to her friends, it makes her
feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.
One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her
car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a
gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something
wrong, ask her- if she denies
something being wrong, it means
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT-
so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls
you know !!
WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US
26. Don't lie to HER.
27. DON'T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good
day at work {or school}, and how
much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll
know that she can ALWAYS count on
you.
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT !!
31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE, hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEKS (it will
give her the hint that you want to
kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on
your shoulder, then lean in and
tilt her chin up and kiss her
LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.
REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT
36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart. Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she
rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her, HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible.
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS.
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love
her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how
much you love her and then bend
down to her face and kiss her
while sitting on her.
You'll never know when she needs
just a little bit more love

Weeh.

Still happy. :)

whatever will be, will be...

let us all wait and see.

for now, we're enjoying each other's company. right? :)

Drinking Your Water is Like Kissing You

Butterfly fluttering
A step forward
Flower blooming
Another step forward

Hesitation envelopes the two beings
Resistance
Avoidance
But t'was an overwhelming passion

As it touches the very petal
Stars start to dance
Eternity seems to be at hand
Milky Way begins to sing

Gentle as it is
Craving a moment more
Indulging in a deep unfathomable
Hanging a moment more

Denouement's sweet
Blissful
Remorse's never a word
Contentment

Die feelings!Die!

Oh crap!

I thought I was able to make myself back to its righteous state.

This is getting insane.

I am alone in this battle.

Armed with no weapons.

Prepared with no tactics.

Shielded with no coats.

Hay. Hay.

It's an inevitable feeling.

No matter what it is.

This must come to an end.