Paglumalayo ako ay lumalapit ka!

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Explanation 101

Gonna explain things here.
No metaphors.
No idiomatic expressions.
Direct.

start.

Question:
Bakit kita pinabasa nito?
Answer:
Wala akong ibang maisip na paraan para mag-explain ng kagagahan ko.

Mag two-two months na rin naman since the day we met each other. Sa pag-uusap pa lang natin under the heat of the sun eh napabilib na ako sa conversation skills mo. Plus bwisit na boses mo yan, sobrang gandang pakinggan. At yun, siguro dahil nga friendly and all ka nakipag-usap ka sakin without any hesitation. Masaya. Dumating yung bagay na nakakahiyang ishare. Boypren/Girlpren issue. You told me, "Ex na". I believed it.

Ilang linggo ang lumipas. Lagi na kitang nakikita. Shet destiny. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko. Malamang hindi sya. (haha. i was indeed right)

Hanggang two weeks ago ba?
Hindi na lang kita nakikita. Nakakasama pa. Nasosolo pa.hihi.
Talaga namang kelangan ko ng racket. Ikaw yung naisip ko. Di ba isa yan sa napagkwentuhan natin dun sa swimming. sports. :)
Yun, kelangan kong masigurado kung mapapahiram mo ko. So, I asked your number from Marc. He gave me.
Sabi mo sure..basta ingatan.hehe
Masaya.

Pumasok sa eksena yung ABC. Crap. Nagkita na naman tayo. I keep on glancing at your direction, hoping that you we're also stealing a glance at me.
Di ko alam kung oo.
Basta bigla ka na lang sumulpot at naglalaro ka na rin ng table tennis.
Masaya.

Nagpasama ka ng asiawise. at walang reluctancy naman akong umoo. that was friday. masaya. saw you kahit di gano matagal.

Saturday, sumunod na encounter natin eh nung kinulit na kita about dun sa lecheng racket na hinihiram ko.hihi. Nagtext ka na nasa Bigg's with Ekoy. At eto naman yung gagang atat sa racket, pumunta.
Kala ko eh dala mo na. Disppointed dahil walang racket. Pero masaya dahil nakaisip kang isali ako sa pagdate nyo.hahaha. Hindi ko alam kung sadyang gusto mo yung Careless Whispher na pinakikinggan natin o talagang sinasabayan mo rin ng pagpapacute sakin. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, mabait lang talaga tong taong to. Amen.

Mala. Sunday. Mga bandang 5pm..kumakaripas ako papuntang LCC dahil sa wala akong kasama at wala ka ring kasama. You ought to buy a racket dahil hindi mo pa nga nakukuha yung sayo. At gusto mong may magamit ako. Sweet. Bulate. Bat ang bait mo?!
At akalain mong nag-eenjoy akong sinasamahan ka sa pagtingin ng shirts, pants and shoes. Haha.
I went home smiling.

This is getting deeper.tsk.

I dunno kung pasasalamatan ko si Sir dahil nagkaroon ako ng chance makasama ka for almost the whole day dahil sa photog. Ang dami kong natutunan sayo. Sarap mong kasama. Di ka nakakasawang kausap. At parang gusto kong wag matapos yung araw para makasama ka lang.
Masayang-masaya.

Aware na ko sa kagagahan ko. A friend warned me na baka may girlfriend ka na. At eto ako, defending you na "ex nga. sabi nya ex!"

Nasundan pa ng ilang encounters.

You made me feel special ng hintayin mo ko hanggang sa matapos ako magtutor. That was two hours. Parang walang sayo pero sobrang saya ko. Wala pa kayang gumagawa sakin nun. Not even friends.hahha.
Sobrang saya.

Hay.Hay.

days later.

Friday night. you texted me. na kelangan mong ilipat ang files mo. i need to do this favor. yun ung justification ko,dahil nga tinulungan mo naman ako sa photog..
you were there, sitting. pero parang grabe pa rin epekto, kahit ng presence mo, sa akin.

di na ko nakatiis. i need to know kung talagang friendly ka nga lang talaga. and to verify kung may girlfriend ka nga.
and hell, yeah, it was indeed true.

haha.

masakit. pero im going to be fine. dont worry. sanay na ako.hahaha

hindi ko lang masabi ng harapan.haha.nawala ung confidence ko bigla sa tao. gumuho rin yung kawalanghiyaan ko.haha.

kaya yan.sorry if I expected something.hehe.

we can still be friends.pero wag muna ngayon. joke!
maghheal muna ko.haha.saka na. after pirang weeks or months.hehe.suba lang.haha

un naman talaga dapat eh.haha.masupog saimo.

ahm, clarifications? comments? reactions? suggestions?

open ako makipag-ulay.hehe.wag mo lang akong ipressure.haha.sorry man.

so eto.hehe.yan.

end.

Glad to be back.

the truth becomes more lucid.

it conquered the single fact.

obscurity complements with enlightenment.

the mud befriends the crystal waters.

life and death succeeds each other.

time remains to be silently moving.

scrutinizing yet savoring each second.

love triumphs over apathy and mediocrity.

Thought it was right!

*Sigh.

I am not supposed to be hurt.

But why am I bleeding this way?

Perhaps,
I thought the right person came.

Perhaps,
I thought the right time's today.

Perhaps,
I thought the right person for him was I.

Perhaps,
I thought the right love came along.

Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.

Perhaps,
I don't love him but I thought he will love me.

Perhaps,
I don't love him but I thought he will make me love him.

Perhaps. Perhaps.

Perhaps,
I want him to be the fluid truth in my life.

But perhaps,
He already met the single fact in his life.

Perhaps.

Drop it! It can't be!

Searching signs of your heart in vain

I found it held by someone

I picked up mine

Intoxicated.

Shuttered.

Shredded.

Pieces.

Gone.

Friendly Friend!

*you deserve this post


You don't have to stare at me that way.
Your eyes need not be that twinkling every time I'm around.

You don't have to smile at me that way.
Your lips need not be that magical each time you smile at me.

You don't have to wait for me for two hours
when you're suppose to be going somewhere else at that moment

You don't have to teach me how to take photos
when you're suppose to be doing something else at that moment

You don't even have to walk at my direction
and greet me
when someone's greeting you, instead

You don't have to invite me for a snack
and entertain me
when someone's with you, instead


We're not suppose to walk a kilometer and a half
when typhoon is striking the city

We're not suppose to talk like we're the only two beings
when somebody is talking loudly


Heavens!wohoo.

Sparkle

This is an exhausting day. I've been fed up with all my paper works and photo shoot. The submission of both will be tomorrow. One in the morning and the other is in the afternoon. Both hemisphere of my brain tried to work accordingly. I feel like a glass of water emptied by a thirst being.

Photography's never been my line of interest when this optimistic, world loving, understanding and ever friendly guy taught me to take a photo. I never expected him to be very spontaneous while teaching me. Jargons about photography came out from his mouth so smoothly that I need to scold myself and behave. Shutter speed, aperture and ISO; things I thought I would live without knowing them. Haha. Nice meeting you, three.
Well after all the theories he imbibed to me it's now the time to take my knowledge in the field. I got pretty nervous. I don't want him seeing my lame shots but I can do nothing. I tried clicking the DSLR I borrowed from Nagj. Of course the first shot was a total mess but he continued encouraging me to just practice.

I got a Theo class at 3pm so we took a break and promised to continue later after my class.

As gentleman as he is. He kept his promise. He spent his vacant hours trying to teach me the trick of photography. We went to one of the buildings and tried to took shots from that high angle. He's very patient when it comes to teaching me the "hows". When the both of us can't think of anything to be framed he used me as his subject.

He's not flirting. He's just friendly.

And oh, how I love to hang around with him. May it be playing his sports or mine, swimming like children, eating in a food chain, window shopping for his planned to buy shoes, walking from downtown to Ateneo and probably just sitting around the corner waiting for someone to start talking; name it.

Yes. He is no way a flirt. Only a friend...

And I'm saving all my love for you.

December.

December.

December.


Today's a cold summer.

Never ending breeze

Tomorrow's a windy night.

Chilling and killing breeze


Marble eyes

Mesmerizing voice

Joyous smile

Golden heart

Be back.

In time.

A day.

A month or two.

No.

Winter's warm breath

Soothing icy daggers

Melting instantly.


December.

My ever favorite topic. *wink*

"But the church is not the only enlighten soul on the planet! We all seek God in different ways...The mind finds new answers, the heart grapples with new truths...God is not some omnipotent authority looking down from above, threatening to throw us into a pit of fire if we disobey. God is the energy that flows through the synapses of our nervous system and the chambers of our hearts! God is in all things!"

I have nothing against anybody who is an avid supporter of the church. In fact, I got a bunch of friends who are all devoted Christians regardless of what kind of church they go. It's just that I just don't want anybody asking me if I go to church every Sunday and attend every mass because of a special occasion.


Call me agnostic, atheist, heaven or whatever name you wish to connect with this that I stand for. I don't give a damn for as long as you don't pester me with spiritual insights because I'm already bombarded with it.

I'm not threatening. I'm stating facts.