Quite sensible and senseless at the same time

I'm beginning to think that I'm doing more non sense stuffs than those that are sensible.
I'm typing anything that comes out of my little brain and my teacher calls it free writing. So, what the heck if this is called free writing?

I don't want to talk anything that would cause me depression but I just can't help it.

Final examination is approaching and I'm having a damn feeling that I wouldn't really be able to make to the Dean's List. Heck. Ambitious bitch! Speaking of academic stuffs I remember we have some final project to work on. Even if we started it I still find it senseless. Forgive me group mates. I just don't think we'll be able to come up with an awesome presentation as what all of us wanted it to be.

I want to drink bottles of vodka! Freak. Am I that easily addicted with that alcoholic drink or is just because I'm experiencing some burn outs. Well, one of my team mates invited me to join their gig tomorrow and of course there would be buckets of beers that would be pouring. I'm tempted to say yes. Oops, I already said yes. Still, I'm not sure if I really want to go with them. Again, I'm talking alot of non sense in here. First thing I want to be drown with alcohol and the next second I don't even want to smell its aroma. Weeh.

It was a very long day for me.
Sociology's not much of a problem because my teacher is unaware that she's just repeating the things she has tackled weeks ago. Physical Science , I don't know if the lesson is easy or it's just that I already have an idea about the things my prof is talking. He makes me feel hungry. Good thing he dismissed us early. My SRA period is not much a disaster only that I am obliged to 180 pesos for my new book. I'm now in level 3b and 5 colors to go and I'm done. The fastest reader from the level 2c, as my teacher told me. NSTP bothered me alot. Our facilitator, Maam Judd, told a story about Maria, Pedro, and Juan. And this is how the story goes:

Pedro is one of the greatest boatmen in his village, which is the village 1. Maria is the typical Filipina of another village, Village 2. And in that same village lives another great boatman, Juan, he is popular no just because of his ability but because he is a lustful person and has so many cases of sexual harassment in their village. Village 1 and village 2 is separated by a river where many crocs dwell. Many unskilled boatmen died in their journey to each village but not Pedro and Juan. Maria and Pedro are lovers in that story. Pedro fell in love with Maria because she is chaste and pure. Since they are going steady for 2 years they decided to get married and they made a vow that until the day of their wedding Maria will remain a virgin. Unfortunately Pedro got sick and the only medicine available is from Maria's lolo or lola (am not sure). The catch is, all the skilled boatsmen journeyed already and the only one left was Juan. Maria ask Juan if he can bring her to Pedro at the Village 1 in exchange to any big amount of money. Right there, Juan told Maria that he'll do what she ask not for money but in exchange of a one-night stand. Of course, Maria did not agree so she thought of another alternative. But she was left with no other solutions and so she agreed with one. So, Maria brought the medicine to Pedro and he was cured. Few days before their wedding Maria told Pedro what really had happened. That because of her love for him she gave up her virginity to Juan. just to save his life. What Pedro did? He turn his back to Maria and there is no wedding that took place.

Crap, isn't it? That how life really goes.

Our sacrifices are sometimes not taken credits. Instead of a reciprocated feelings, we expect, the negative thing happens. We give love but earn abandonment .
We try to understand their situation but did they understand ours? We try to fix things but do they want these things to be fixed?
If love is the only solution then why are there people who are softly taking their own lives?
If love makes the world go round then why do many of us see things in a box?