Just tell me to follow you at the other side of your world and I'll do it without hesitation.

It's not easy for me to think of words or even ideas to post here. It's just that I don't feel typing but it's contrary to what I'm doing. Sigh.

I had stormed out of our humble home and wandered through the downtown before I ended up sitting here and typing things coming from my mind. My mom already called me and after three missed calls I decided to answer her. How rude I am and I hate it. I'm too stubborn to let (even my mom) anyone else disturb my little refuge in sadness.


Well, my mom won after leaving this Internet shop I'll be meeting her somewhere. I know I hurt her for what I have just done. Though somehow I have the control over myself to do otherwise, I did not do it and maybe...I meant it. Sigh.


I just can't understand myself. I remember our NSTP facilitator who keeps on bugging the class with her question.."Who I am? Who are you?" Now it becomes worse for she eleven added "Who I am in the greater scheme of things?" I can't literally answer the first question yet here's another mind disturbing one.

....

Another thing. A guy asked me last night if he can court me. As usual my answer's NO. He insisted but I gave resistance. I told him to find someone better than I. Someone who he can share his feelings with. Someone who is not so weak like me. But, as what guys always do, he persisted. He told me that I am the "closest anybody can be to perfect." That was very fluttering but I still said no.