Thesis Defense and All its Blues.

It's like having your last judgement.

Everything you learned from four years of trying to figure things out will be criticized, humiliated, and shuttered, or maybe complimented if you're lucky enough. You can't undo anything, or wish you paid attention more to that particular lesson, or hope that you exerted so much enthusiasm to that puzzling theory. You just can't. The time has gone with the wind and with your luxurious leisure moments. You have to be resourceful from this time on. You can befriend the library, use the Internet to your advantage and rummage the deepest part of your brain with any useful stuff. You may also add relying with your buddies for any kind of help.

Now it all boils down to you and your beloved thesis mates. Your reason and creativity must be insanely in good shape to finish your paper and your hopefully jaw-dropping film. Every word of your paper must mean something significant. You don't have an opportunity to mess up your subject-verb agreement and pretend it was a typographical error. Pity yourself if you're like me who sometimes have a hard time articulating your thoughts in the best possible way. And don't be self-absorbed because you'll be needing a lot of related topics from different sources. Your sources must have the reliability of a highly anticipated evidence in court and it must not show any shadow of doubt. And for humanity's sake, plagiarism must not be in your vocabulary, you blithering idiot! You have all the necessary information for your paper written in a standard research/thesis structure, now how in the earth will you be able to transform this into a beautiful critical essay? To start with, the words "critical" and "essay" scare you out. You feel like entering a whole different galaxy or maybe traveling to the future with your time machine. It is a different world. A world so unknown you don't know where to begin with or how.

And yes, you're already estranged to that world when you scribble a blog post in the middle of writing the critical essay. You're going to realize that it's not that bad. It's even a good experience trying to do new things, trying to outrun yourself, trying to outgrow your intellectual fear. Distracted with what you just realized, you will simply toss this blog post aside. It's either you're too lazy to finish this off or you're too diligent that you'd rather get the critical essay done.